Been 5 months since I moved back to Tennessee. Honestly I think moving back was one of the best decisions I could have ever made for myself. I’m a different person out here. I like my way of thinking. I enjoy not having to worry about anyone else although it might seem harsh its true. Out here I’m able to just focus on myself and finally getting my life together. I’m finally thinking about the future. In California I honestly saw no future for myself. I’d go to bed every morning, yes, every morning, hoping I didn’t have to “just get through” one more day, but I’m glad I’m finally at a place where I feel better about my life and myself in general. I want to be alive. I want to get to the point in my life where I feel I can finally go back home to California and have the ability to be out thereand not allow myself to fall back into being the old me the me before I came out to Tennessee. I want to go back to LA a changed person, but for now I’m still working on getting there.
Missing my family, friends and everything I love is a terrible feeling. Yeah I have my moments where I lay in bed at night and cry myself to sleep because I miss everyone so much, but I have to constantly remind myself that its all for the better. I’ll be back in LA soon and that right now this is the best for me.
Goodnight y’all and I still miss you.
